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Stress and a large dollop of humble pie. Views: 1972
So why is it, when life gets pressured and stressful, the times when we most need to do the things we love most, we do them less? When the day job (which luckily for me I also love most of the time) gets unwieldy, I find the first things that gets pushed sideways is music making. When I'm feeling negative and my mental health is wobbling I have no motivation or desire to do the one thing I know I can rely on to make me feel better. Take Tuesday, this week has been unforgiving at work, wall to wall teaching with no time to prepare or think about the session before or after. Tuesday evenings is traditionally rehearsals so you might think I'd have been looking forward to it. No, I left work thinking about how tired I was and dreading it. It felt like a chore, something else I had to do in my hectic week. I even went as far as ringing Andy to cancel. I was too late, he'd left already so I couldn't get out of it. Just as well of course, because after a fairly ropy rendition of Work Song (very apt I think) the second bang through improved and I felt so much better! My mood had lifted, I was smiling again and the world looked brighter and every other cliche you can imagine! I spend so much time telling students about the things we need to do in order to enhance our well being, how to help others get back in touch with the things that make them happy and yet... Dose of my own medicine perhaps?
xx